i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
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