What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Operation Purity has been aborted
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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