i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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