someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I licked your asshole in confidence.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
