As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Randomize
