Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
