I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
