I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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