i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
He's gonna do me a solid for doing her a solid. It's like pay it foward. But with sex.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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