I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
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So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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