Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
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I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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