she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
