It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I hope mine doesn't look like that
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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