Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Randomize
