I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize