i'm lost and i look like a hooker
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
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you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize