K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
where am i from again
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
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