I should be sponsored by Trojan
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
