she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
you made out with another girl for some wings
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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