As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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