hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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