Her vagina should come with caution tape.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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