yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
