she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Im pretty sure you told the waiter at Dennys last night to take your pants off or show a nipple.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
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