Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Dude, someone broke the toilet seat in two, the is a pair of panties on the kitchen counter, and the entire house smells like a brewery
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize
