Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
