If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
