I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
