I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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