Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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