Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
love makes seman taste better
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Randomize
