Have you finally orgasmed yet?
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
He showed me a picture of his baby hamsters and I called them "Mammal McNuggets"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
