that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
I currently don't understand fingers.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
