Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
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It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
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You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize