Non-Jews are for practice
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
