She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Randomize
