Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
