if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
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