btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
Randomize
