It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
