We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
