is wine microwaveable?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
He suggested abortion before I finished the sentence. That was my plan too, but now I feel like should keep it just to prove how big of a dick he is.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
