my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
