you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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