I'm gonna have a badass scar
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
You did what with his pubic hair?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
