my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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