True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
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