Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
