So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
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