Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
