well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Randomize
