is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
