I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just used my AAA membership to fix a strippers flat tire in return for a lapdance...does that make me a bad person?
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
Randomize