don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
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