Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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