Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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