You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
