i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
This gyro tastes like lonliness
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
