I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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