I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
