he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize