i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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