Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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