Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
