My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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