oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
